Cerys Matthews with a broad welsh accent, that would confuse matters LOL
How about some other british women, Rachel Weisz, Julie Walters, Stephanie Beacham, Joan Collins anyone but that Keira Knightly.
Men, I would have to say Jason Statham, hes fit. Or just for wacky weirdness, Russell Brand, Bill Bailey or better still Frankie Boyle as Ducky's unPC scottish son LOL